Manners (Part 2)
Chapter 5
Etiquette of Hospitality
34851: Ruling on students
standing up for the teacher
Question:
It is customary when the teacher enters the
classroom for the students to stand up as a sign
of respect, and the teachers tell them to do
that. Some teachers punish a student who does
not stand up for them, and that is regarded as a
kind of bad manners. What is the ruling on
that?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We have already discussed the ruling on
standing up for one who comes in, in question
no. 34497. This ruling includes students
standing up for the teacher.
Shaykh `Abd al-`Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said:
I have heard that many teachers tell the
students to stand up for them when they enter
the classroom. Undoubtedly this goes against the
saheeh Sunnah.
It was proven that the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Whoever likes the people to stand up for
him, let him take his place in Hell." Narrated
by Imam Ahmad, Abu Dawood and al-Tirmidhi from
Mu'aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased with him) with
a saheeh isnaad. Imam Ahmad and al-Tirmidhi also
narrated with a saheeh isnaad from Anas (may
Allaah be pleased with him): "No person was
dearer to them than the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), but when they
saw him they did not stand up for him because
they knew that he disliked that."
So the Sunnah is not to stand up for teachers
when they enter classrooms, in accordance with
these two hadeeth and other similar reports.
It is not permissible for the teacher to tell
them to stand up for him, because of the warning
mentioned concerning that in the hadeeth of
Mu'aawiyah, and it is makrooh for the students
to stand up, because of the hadeeth of Anas
quoted above. It is well known that all goodness
is to be found in following the Sunnah of the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) and following his example
and that of his companions (may Allaah be
pleased with them). May Allaah make us and you
among those who follow him in truth and help us
to understand His religion and adhere
steadfastly to it. Majallat al-Buhooth
al-Islamiyyah, 26/347. Islam Q&A
(www.islam-qa.com)
34497: Ruling on standing up
for who comes in, and kissing him
Question:
What is the ruling on standing up for who
comes in, and kissing him?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
With regard to standing up for who comes in,
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah gave a detailed
answer to this question, based on shar'i
evidence, which we think should be quoted
because it serves the purpose. He said:
It was not the custom of the salaf at the
time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) and the Rightly-Guided
Caliphs to stand up every time they saw him [the
Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him), as many people do. Rather Anas ibn Maalik
said: "No person was dearer to them than the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him), but when they saw him they did not stand
up for him because they knew that he disliked
that." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2754; classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi. But they may have stood up for
one who was returning from away, in order to
greet him, as it was narrated that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
stood up for `Ikrimah, and he said to the Ansaar
when Sa'd ibn Mu'aadh came: "Stand up for your
chief." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3043; Muslim,
1768. That was when he [Sa'd] came to pass
judgement on Banu Qurayzah, because they said
that would accept his verdict.
What people should do is get accustomed to
following the salaf in their customs at the time
of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him), for they are the best of
generations and the best of speech is the Word
of Allaah, and the best of guidance is the
guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him). No one should turn away
from the guidance of the best of mankind and the
guidance of the best of generations and follow
something that is inferior to it. And the chief
or leader should not approve of that among his
companions, so that when they see him they
should not stand up for him, rather they should
simply greet him in the usual manner.
With regard to standing up for one who has
come from a journey and the like, to greet him,
that is fine. If it is the custom of the people
to honour one who comes by standing up for him,
and if that may make him feel insulted if they
do not do it, and he does not know the custom
that is in accordance with the Sunnah, then it
is better to stand up for him, because that will
create a good relationship between them and will
remove rancour and hatred. But if a person is
familiar with the custom of some people that is
in accordance with the Sunnah, not doing that
will not offend him.
Standing up for a newcomer is not the
standing mentioned in the words of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
"Whoever likes the people to stand up for him,
let him take his place in Hell." Narrated by
al-Tirmidhi, 2755; classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. That
refers to when they stand up for him when he is
seated; it does not refer to when they stand up
to welcome him when he comes. Hence the scholars
differentiated between the two types of
standing, because those who stand up to greet a
newcomer are equal with him, unlike those who
stand for one who remains seated.
It was proven in Saheeh Muslim that
when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) led them in prayer sitting down,
because he was ill, and they prayed standing, he
told them to sit down and said: "Do not venerate
me as the Persians venerate one another." And he
forbade them to stand in prayer whilst he was
sitting, lest they resemble the Persians who
used to stand for their leaders whilst the
leaders were seated. In conclusion, the best is
to follow the customs and attitude and views of
the salaf as much as possible.
If a person does not believe in that and is
not familiar with this custom, and if not
dealing with him in the manner in which people
are accustomed to showing respect will lead to a
greater evil, then we should ward off the
greater of two evils by doing the lesser of
them, and do that which serves a greater
interest at the expense that which serves the
lesser interest.
End quote from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah.
What will make this clearer is the report
narrated in al-Saheehayn concerning the
story of Ka'b ibn Maalik, when Allaah accepted
his repentance and that of his two companions
(may Allaah be pleased with them all), in which
it says that when Ka'b entered the mosque,
Talhah ibn `Ubayd-Allaah stood up, ran to him
and greeted him, and congratulated him on
Allaah's forgiveness, and the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not
denounce that. This indicates that it is
permissible to stand up for someone who comes
in, and to shake his hand and greet him. Similar
to this is the report that when the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
entered upon his daughter Faatimah, she would
stand up for him and take his hand, and make him
sit in her place. And when she entered upon him,
he would take her hand and make her sit in his
place. Classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi.
Secondly:
With regard to kissing, there is evidence
narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) which indicates that this
is allowed in sharee'ah. It was narrated that
`Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:
Zayd ibn Haarithah came to Madeenah and the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) was in my house. He came to
him and knocked at the door, and the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) stood up (to open the door) for him wearing
nothing but an izaar (waist wrapper) dragging
his garment, and by Allaah I never saw him
wearing nothing but an izaar before or after
that. And he embraced him and kissed him.
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said: a hasan
hadeeth.
This hadeeth indicates that it is allowed to
do that with one who comes. But this hadeeth was
classed as da'eef by al-Albaani in Da'eef
al-Tirmidhi, 2732.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah
be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kissed
al-Hasan ibn `Ali. Al-Aqra' ibn Haabis said: "I
have ten children and I have never kissed any of
them." The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "He will not be shown
mercy who does not show mercy (to others)."
Agreed upon.
This hadeeth indicates that kissing is
prescribed if it is done out of mercy and
compassion. With regard to kissing when meeting
someone in a the regular manner, there is
evidence that indicates that this is not
prescribed, and that it is sufficient to shake
hands. It was narrated that Qataadah (may Allaah
be pleased with him) said: I said to Anas, "Did
the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) shake
hands?" He said, "Yes." Narrated by al-Bukhaari.
And it was narrated from Anas that when the
people of Yemen came, the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "The people of Yemen have come, and they
are the first who came shaking hands." Narrated
by Abu Dawood with a saheeh isnaad.
It was narrated that al-Bara' (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "There are no two Muslims who meet and
shake hands, but they will be forgiven before
they part." Narrated by Abu Dawood and Ahmad;
narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi;
also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh Abi Dawood, 5212.
It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: A man said, "O Messenger
of Allaah, when a man among us meets his brother
and friend, should he bow to him?" He said,
"No." He said, "Should he embrace him and kiss
him?" He said, "No." He said, "Should he take
his hand and shake hands?" He said, "Yes."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said: a hasan
hadeeth; but he also said that its isnaad is
da'eef, because it includes Hanzalah al-Sadoosi,
who is da'eef according to the scholars. But
perhaps al-Tirmidhi classed it as hasan because
there are other ahaadeeth which support it. It
was also classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2728.
Ahmad, al-Nasaa'i, al-Tirmidhi and others
narrated with their saheeh isnaads, and
al-Tirmidhi classed it as saheeh, from Safwaan
ibn `Assaal that two Jews asked the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
about the nine clear signs (given to Moosa), and
when he answered their question, they kissed his
hands and feet and said, "We bear witness that
you are a Prophet."
Al-Tabaraani narrated with a jayyid isnaad
from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that
he said: When the companions of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) met,
they would shake hands, and when they came from
a journey they would embrace one another." This
was mentioned by Ibn Muflih in al-Adaab
al-Shar'iyyah.
And Allaah is the Source of strength. May
Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet
Muhammad and his family and companions.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah,
1/144-147.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
13776: Ruling on standing up
to welcome a newcomer
Question:
A man came in when I was in a gathering, and
the people present stood up for him, but I did
not stand up. Do I have to stand up? Is there
any sin on those who did stand up?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
You do not have to stand up for someone who
comes in, but it is good manners, if someone
stands up for you, to shake his hand, especially
the head of the household and prominent people.
This is the matter of good manners. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
stood up for Faatimah, and she stood up for him,
may Allaah be pleased with her. The Sahaabah
(may Allaah be pleased with them) stood up, on
the Prophet's command, for Sa'd ibn Mu'aadh when
he came to pass judgement on Bani Qurayzah.
Talhah ibn `Ubayd Allaah (may Allaah be pleased
with him) stood up in front of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when
Ka'b ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him)
came after Allaah had accepted his repentance;
he shook his hand and congratulated him, then
sat down. This is the matter of good manners and
this is broad issue. What is denouncable is when
people stand up and remain standing by way of
veneration. But if a person stands up to welcome
his guest and honour him, or to shake hands with
him or greet him, this is something which is
prescribed in Islam. But to remain standing when
people are sitting by way of veneration, or
standing at the door without greeting anyone or
shaking hands with anyone, this should not be
done. Even worse than that is standing up to
venerate a person when he is sitting down, not
for the sake of guarding him but only for the
purpose of veneration.
There are three kinds of standing up, as the
scholars said :
(1) When people stand up
for someone to venerate him when he is sitting
down, as the Persians venerated their kings and
leaders, as described by the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). This is not
permitted, and for this reason the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told
them to sit down when he led them in prayer
sitting down. He told them to sit down and to
pray behind him seated, and when they stood up
he said, "You almost venerated me like the
Persians venerate their leaders."
(2) When a person stands up when another
person comes in or goes out, without greeting
him or shaking hands with him, rather simply in
order to venerate him. This at the very least is
makrooh. The Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased
with them) used not to stand up for the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when
he came in to them, because they knew that he
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
disliked that.
(3) When a person stands
up for someone who has come in, in order to
shake his hand or to take his hand and lead him
to a seat, etc. There is nothing wrong with
that, rather it is the Sunnah as mentioned
above.
Kitaab Majmoo' Fataawa wa Maqaalaat
Mutanawwi'ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-`Allaamah
`Abd al-`Azeez ibn `Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may
Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 4, p. 394
(www.islam-qa.com)
14578: When a person enters
upon other people, does he greet the oldest
first or the youngest?
Question:
When I enter upon people and I want to greet
them, do I start with the oldest or the
youngest?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
This is an issue which some people do not
understand. When you meet someone or you enter
upon someone and you want to greet them (by
shaking hands) or by offering tea or coffee,
then you should start with the oldest, because
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) had a miswaak (tooth-stick) in his
hand and there were two men in front of him. The
younger man wanted to take it, but he said to
him, "The older, the older."
This is different to when there is a young
man on one's right and an old man on one's left,
and one is sitting between them. In that case
one should start on the right, even though that
man is younger.
On this basis, when a person enters a
gathering, he should start with the oldest, but
if he wants to give something, then he should
start with whoever is on his right, not on the
right of the oldest.
See al-Liqaa' al-Shahri, 13.
(www.islam-qa.com)
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Introduction