Psychological and Social Problems
Chapter 5
21696: He bequeathed
one-third of his wealth to his daughters as a
punishment to his son for taking all the money
Question:
One year before my father died, he gave to
each of us _ three daughters and one son _ the
papers pertaining to the accounts where he had
deposited the money he had been saving for us;
he had suffered a great deal during the years he
was working abroad to save this money for us and
provide us with this money. So none of us dared
to withdraw any money without referring to him,
out of respect for him.
Then my brother withdrew all the money in the
account following an argument which arose
between my brother and my sister. My father (may
Allaah have mercy on him) was on the girls'
side, which made my brother (may Allaah forgive
him) withdraw all the money which my father had
deposited in his account then handed over the
documentation. When he (my brother) found out
about this will, he started court proceedings to
prove the will legally invalid. When his father
found out about it from the bank, he was deeply
shocked, and he told him to put the money back
because he needed it, as he was sick. But my
brother refused to return the money, which had a
bad effect on my father. My father died angry
with my brother, and he had written a will
leaving one-third of his money to his daughters;
this will was intended as a punishment to my
brother which my father wrote before he died,
understanding fully what he was saying. I myself
refused to accept this will because I was not
comfortable with it, and I insisted on taking
only that which was due to me according to
sharee'ah. I advised my sisters to ignore this
will, in order to correct any mistake that my
father may have made and so as to uphold good
relations with my brother as Allaah enjoins upon
us to do. But my many attempts did not succeed,
and they went ahead and executed the will
through the courts. The tears of my mother (may
Allaah have mercy on her) did not succeed in
deterring them from insisting on the will being
executed. I also tried several times to deter my
brother from entering into a dispute with my
sisters in the court, in order to protect the
name and reputation of our father. I asked him
to consider this as a punishment in this world
for what he had done to my father. But he
refused to give up what he considered to be his
right for any reason, and all of them accused me
of not supporting the truth. I kept myself out
of this dispute by appointing a lawyer to
declare my objection to this matter from the
outset.
I hope that you can advise me of the shar'i
ruling and what my siblings' position is
according to sharee'ah. Please tell me what my
duty towards them is, when they have adopted
this stance towards me on this matter despite my
many attempts to maintain good relations with
them and honour them.
Please advise me, may Allaah reward you.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is unfortunate that there are many such
cases among siblings, and what makes the matter
even more regrettable is that the reason for
this dispute is money. In fact I appreciate our
sister's good nature and wisdom, since she has
preferred peace to entering into a dispute with
her brother, and she has tried to contain the
problem and solve it within the family. This in
itself should be considered the beginning of a
proper solution. As for the answer to this
question, it may be answered in the following
points:
Firstly:
The money which your father had saved for you
and gone to great lengths for your benefit, is
the due of everyone whom Allaah has decreed has
a share of inheritance. Each of you has a share
allotted by sharee'ah after the death of your
father; none of you have the right to keep this
money for himself and deny it to the rest of the
heirs, because by doing so he is transgressing
upon the rights of others. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"but transgress not the limits. Truly,
Allaah likes not the transgressors"[al-Baqarah
2:190]
It was narrated by Abu Harrah al-Raqaashi
that his paternal uncle said: "I was holding on
to the reins of the she-camel of Messenger of
Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him), and the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "A man's wealth is
not permissible except with his consent."
(Narrated by Ahmad, 20172; classed as saheeh
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Irwaa', 1761).
On this basis, what your brother did by
taking this money is considered to be a haraam
action, especially since he took the money when
your father was still alive and he is not
entitled to any of the money until after his
father died. Indeed, after his father's death he
is not entitled to anything more than the share
which Allaah has allocated to him in the laws of
inheritance. So what your brother must do is to
repent to Allaah and restore the rights of
people.
Secondly:
The will which your father wrote was not
acceptable according to sharee'ah, and it is not
permissible for you to demand that it be
executed, because a person who is designated as
an heir according to sharee'ah cannot be given
something in the will (wasiyyah). The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "Allaah has given each person his
rights and no will can be made in favour of an
heir." (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2120; classed
as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi, 1722), So it is not permissible
for you to demand it, even if your brother has
taken your money. But you may demand what Allaah
has granted you in the laws of inheritance.
Thirdly:
You should continue to advise and guide them
and try to bring them together as much as you
can. Remember that you will be rewarded by
Allaah for that. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"There is no good in most of their secret
talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity
in Allaah's Cause), or Ma`roof (Islamic
Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds
which Allaah has ordained), or conciliation
between mankind; and he who does this, seeking
the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a
great reward"
[al-Nisa' 4:114]
Keep telling your sisters not to demand more
than they are entitled to, and that demanding
one-third is something that is not permitted.
Try also to convince your brother, in a good
way, to give your sisters that which is
rightfully theirs, and to show mercy to his
sisters after his father's death instead of
being a torment to them. You will undoubtedly
face problems in doing that, but be patient. We
ask Allaah to make you steadfast.
Fourthly:
If you are doing the right thing, it will not
matter if people blame you or accuse you of
being biased. Be steadfast in adhering to the
truth. Finally, we call on all of you to fear
Allaah and to ward off this scandalous dispute
which does not make anyone happy apart from the
Shaytaan, those in whose hearts is a disease and
everyone who enjoys the troubles of others or is
filled with malicious envy.
I ask Allaah to put things right between you.
May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
10362: The closest of people
to her raped her
Question:
She was raped by her father and was no longer
considered a virgin, then she had an illicit
relationship with a man. Then she repented and
performed `Umrah, and she wants to get married.
What should she do, and should she tell her
husband?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
She should praise Allaah for the blessings of
guidance and be steadfast in adhering to the
truth. She should do a lot of acts of worship
and obedience. She should try her utmost not to
be alone with her father in the house. She does
not have to tell her husband about what
happened, if she gets married. She should ask
Allaah to conceal it and to grant her a way out.
Her father is a criminal who should be
advised, rebuked and deterred.
We ask Allaah to keep us all safe and sound.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
26231: Ruling on bringing a
servant into the home
Question:
What is the ruling if a wife asks for a
servant to help her, especially when she is a
student and has a child, and her family and her
husband's family are not in the same city?
Please note that the husband has a sufficient
income and that when the wife was still living
at home, her family had servants. She needs
someone to help her. Please also note that she
will require the servant to wear proper Islamic
dress and to adhere to the limits set by
sharee'ah. Please answer us, may Allaah reward
you with good.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
In the earliest days, the Muslims used to
have slaves, female and male, who used to serve
them. Slavery was abolished [in Saudi Arabia] in
1386 AH, and there are no slaves any more. The
people began to bring female servants from some
other countries such as the Philippines, Sri
Lanka etc. In this situation the people had no
choice but to bring servants. It is permissible
for a woman to bring a servant, but she should
make sure that she is a Muslim and that she is
trustworthy and there is no fear of her causing
harm, and that she adheres to the rulings of
Islam, is modest and observes hijaab; she should
avoid meeting men, and if any man enters the
house she should wear hijaab as women do in
front of non-mahram men. Bringing such a servant
should be the matter of necessity, and when the
wife is able to do without her, she should be
sent back to her family. (If these conditions
are met), then it is permissible to bring
servants according to need.
Shaykh `Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen
(www.islam-qa.com)
20044: Can he delay Hajj
because of problems with his wife?
Question:
I am speaking on behalf of my brother. He is
planning to do Hajj this year, but for the
following reason he is confused about whether he
should do so. Unfortunately he is on bad terms
with his wife and they are not living together.
He is living with his parents and she is living
alone with their son. Since his marital problems
remain unresolved-i.e. he has not divorced her
and neither are they living happily together, he
is unsure whether it is right for him to leave
his problems unresolved and do Hajj. Could you
please give some advice on the matter.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
When a Muslim is able to do Hajj, he should
hasten to do it, and it is not permissible for
him to delay it for no reason, because the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "Hasten to do Hajj _ i.e., the
obligatory Hajj _ for none of you knows what
will happen to him." (Narrated by Ahmad, 2721;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
al-Irwa', 990). And he (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever
wants to do Hajj, let him hasten to do so."
(Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh
Abi Dawood, 1524).
What you have mentioned about your brother's
problems is not a reason for delaying Hajj,
because Hajj will not prevent him from dealing
with this problem, since it is within his power
to try to solve this problem and finish with it
before he goes for Hajj. His Hajj may be the
means of his problem being solved, because of
the help from Allaah it may bring and the
blessing (barakah) of Hajj and obedience to
Allaah. It may be that he will make du'aa'
during his Hajj with regard to this matter, and
Allaah will answer and relieve him of this
distress.
Moreover, our advice to your brother is that
he should not hasten to divorce his wife, rather
he should take his time and not rush into
anything. For divorce is something that Allaah
dislikes.
If the problem between him and his wife is
because of negligence on her part regarding one
of the duties towards Allaah, such as if she
neglects to pray or is not chaste, etc, then he
has to warn her and remind her about Allaah, and
call her to Allaah, and try to guide her to obey
Allaah. If she persists in not responding to
him, then in that case there is nothing to be
gained by keeping her.
But if the problem between them is of the
common type of problems between spouses, and has
to do with differences of opinion concerning day
to day life and household matters, etc., then he
has to be patient and treat her kindly, and try
hard to correct what he thinks is inappropriate.
For Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"and live with them honourably. If you
dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing
and Allaah brings through it a great deal of
good" [al-Nisa' 4:19]
The husband has to live with his wife
honourably and keep her company in a good way,
refraining from harming her, and treating her
kindly. Living with her honourably also means
putting up with any annoyance that his wife may
cause him, and he should remember that he will
have a great reward for that from Allaah.
A man may dislike his wife, but he keeps her
out of obedience to Allaah and treats her
kindly, and then Allaah brings about a great
deal of good from that. He may be blessed with
righteous children from her who will benefit him
in this world and in the Hereafter; or his
dislike may be taken away and replaced with
love, as often happens.
The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "No believing man should hate
a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her
characteristics he will be pleased with
another." (Narrated by Muslim, 1469). What this
means is that it is not appropriate for a
believing man to hate a believing woman, because
even if he finds some bad characteristic in her
for which he may dislike her, he will find
another, praiseworthy, characteristic for which
he will love her, such as her being chaste or
kind or obedient, or some other good
characteristic. The same is true of all people,
each person has some good attributes and some
bad attributes. As the poet said:
"Who is there that is pleasing in all his
characteristics? It is enough honour for a man's
faults to be few enough to count."
The wise man is the one who weighs up both
the good characteristics and the bad.
Your brother should make a lot of du'aa' in
the places and at the times when du'aa' is
especially encouraged, during Hajj and
otherwise, asking that Allaah may reconcile him
with his wife and create love between their
hearts.
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bestow
blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih
Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
26333: Her sister mistreated
her _ should she forsake her?
Question:
I am a 19-year-old girl. I have lost my
father and my mother, and have become very
withdrawn and introverted. Everyone tells me
that I have changed a lot. I always sit in my
room and not with my sisters. I have a sister at
home who is one year older than me, but I do not
talk to her for many reasons, which only shyness
prevents me from mentioning… She has hurt me a
great deal with her words, and I cannot stand
it, so I have cut off my relationship with her
even though we live in the same house. This has
gone on for months. We do not eat together or
meet at any other time, each of us lives alone …
My question is: is my not speaking to her a
kind of cutting off the ties of kinship, and is
there any sin on me for that? Note that I felt
at peace after that, and that was all I wanted?
We have a kaafir female servant, and if I ask
her for something she throws it at me in a very
rude manner. She only does this with me. If I
tell her off and rebuke her, is there any sin on
me for that?
What is Witr prayer _ how many rak'ahs is it
and how and when is it to be done?
How many rak'ahs are there in Taraaweeh
prayer? Is it permissible to hold the Mus-haf
whilst praying, or a notebook containing
du'aa's?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah, and blessings and peace
be upon the Messenger of Allaah.
We ask Allaah to compensate you with the best
of that with which He compensates His slaves who
are patient, and to expand your heart, and to
make things easier for you, and to improve your
relationship with your family, for He is
All-Hearing, Ever-Near.
With regard to your forsaking your sister, if
that is because she is doing something that goes
against sharee'ah, and your forsaking her will
achieve some purpose for you, by keeping you
safe from her evil and harm, or it will achieve
some purpose for her, by influencing her and
making her give up her sin, then there is
nothing wrong with it.
But if it is for some personal reasons, or
for some difference of opinion over some worldly
matters, such as some family problems, then it
is not permissible to forsake her or cut off
ties with her. If you greet her with salaams,
then you are no longer regarded as having
forsaken her. That does not necessarily mean
that you have to spend a lot of time with her or
talk to her a lot, especially if such contact
will not serve any purpose for you or for her.
We advise you to try to get to know some good
and righteous women by attending gatherings of
good women, such as classes to memorize Qur'aan
and the like, so that they can be a good help to
you in doing good, and a means of warding off
this introversion of which you complain, and so
that you may benefit from their knowledge and
activities.
We also advise you to try to benefit from
your free time by listening to useful tapes and
reading useful books which will increase you in
faith and knowledge.
With regard to the servant who is falling
short in her work and mistreating you, there is
nothing wrong with you rebuking her and
disciplining her in a manner appropriate to her
misbehaviour and in a manner that will improve
her, without transgressing the limits or harming
her.
With regard to the rulings on Witr and
Taraaweeh prayers, you will find the answers to
your questions in the Seasonal Topics section of
this website, under the heading "Night Prayer
during Ramadaan."
If you want more information, please see look
under the category: Fiqh (jurisprudence and
Islamic rulings) > Ibaadaat (acts of worship)
> Salaah (prayer) _ Salaat al-Naafilah
(Supererogatory prayer) > Qiyaam al-Layl
(prayers at night), in the subcategories tree.
Under Question no. 1255 you will find an
answer concerning carrying the Mus-haf during
night prayers.
With regard to carrying a book of du'aa's
whilst praying Taraaweeh, there is nothing wrong
with that, but it is better to try to memorize
some of the du'aa's and recite them during your
prayer. This is more conducive to thinking of
the meaning of the du'aa' and not moving too
much whilst praying.
We ask Allaah to help you to do that which is
good and to keep you away from evil and its
people… Ameen. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of
the Worlds.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
21843: Can Muslims be
affected by psychological problems?
Question:
Is it possible for a Muslim to be afflicted
with psychological problems? (Because some
people say that a Muslim cannot be affected by
psychological problems).
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Undoubtedly man may be afflicted with
psychological problems such as worries about the
future and grief over the past. Psychological
problems affect the body more than physical
problems do. We should know that the worries and
distress that affect a person are among the
things that expiate his sins and reduce the
burden of sin; if he is patient and seeks reward
with Allaah, he will be rewarded for that.
Treating these problems in the ways
prescribed in Islam is more effective than
treating them with physical medicine, as is well
known.
One of the treatments prescribed in Islam is
to recite the du'aa's narrated from the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to
relieve worries and distress, for example, the
saheeh hadeeth narrated from Ibn Mas'ood (may
Allaah be pleased with him): "There is no-one
who is afflicted by distress and grief, and
says: `Allaahumma inni `abduka ibn `abdika
ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya
hukmuka, `adlun fiyya qadaa'uka. As'aluka bi
kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw
anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw `allamtahu ahadan min
khalqika aw ista'tharta bihi fi `ilm il-ghayb
`indaka an taj'al al-Qur'aana al-`Azeema rabee'
qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa' huzni wa dhihaab
hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of
Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock
is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever
executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask
You by every name belonging to You which You
have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your
Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or
You have preserved in the knowledge of the
Unseen with You, that You make the Holy Qur'aan
the life of my heart and the light of my breast,
and a departure for my sorrow and a release for
my anxiety),' but Allaah will take away his
distress and grief." This is one of the remedies
prescribed in sharee'ah. One may also say:
"Laa ilaaha illa anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu
min al-zaalimeen (There is no god but You,
glorified (and exalted) are You, truly I have
been of the wrongdoers)." [cf. al-Anbiya' 21:87]
Another form of treatment is ruqya with which
a person may treat himself _ which is better.
The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) used to do ruqyah for himself by
reciting al-Mi'wadhatayn (the last two soorahs
of the Qur'aan) when he went to sleep, then he
would wipe his face and whatever he could of his
body. Or a person may go to someone whose
religious commitment he trusts to do ruqyah for
him.
If he wants to know more, he can refer to
what the scholars have written about du'aa' such
as al-Waabil al-Sayyib by Ibn al-Qayyim,
al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Shaykh al-Islam,
al-Adhkaar by al-Nawawi, and Zaad
al-Ma'aad by Ibn al-Qayyim.
From the fatwas of al-Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymeen,
Kitaab Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 4, p.
465-467.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
20159: Will the one who
suffers from waswaas be rewarded, and what
should he do?
Question:
Will the one who suffers from waswaas
(insinuating whispers from the Shaytaan) be
rewarded? What should he do?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah says in Soorat al-Naas (interpretation
of the meaning):
"Say: I seek refuge with (Allaah) the Lord
of mankind,
The King of mankind —
The Ilaah (God) of mankind,
From the evil of the whisperer (devil who
whispers evil in the hearts of men) who
withdraws (from his whispering in one's heart
after one remembers Allaah).
Who whispers in the hearts of mankind.
Of jinn and men."[al-Naas 114:1-6]
Muslim (132) narrated that Abu Hurayrah said:
"Some of the companions of the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to him
and said, `We find things in our hearts that
none of us would dare to utter out loud.' He
said, `Do you really find that?' They said,
`Yes.' He said, `That is clear faith.'"
Muslim (3203) narrated that `Uthmaan ibn
Abi'l-`Aas came to the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: "O
Messenger of Allaah, the Shaytaan is coming
between me and my prayer and making me confused
in my recitation." The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "That is a devil called Khanzab. If you
feel his presence, then seek refuge with Allaah
from him and spit drily to your left three
times." [`Uthmaan] said: "I did that and Allaah
took him away from me."
Al-Bukhaari (3276) and Muslim (134) narrated
that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: `The
Shaytaan comes to some of you and says, "Who
created such and such? Who created such and
such?" _ until he says, "Who created your Lord?"
If that happens, then let him seek refuge with
Allaah and stop thinking about that.'"
Al-Bukhaari (1231) and Muslim (389) narrated
that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: `When the
call for prayer is given, the Shaytaan runs
away, breaking wind loudly so as not to hear the
adhaan. When the adhaan ends, he comes back.
When the iqaamah is made, he runs away, then
when the iqaamah ends, he comes back to distract
a man from his prayer, saying, "Remember such
and such," things that the man did not remember,
until he does not know how many rak'ahs he has
prayed. If one of you does not know how many
rak'ahs he has prayed, whether it is three or
four, then let him do two prostrations whilst he
is sitting."
Muslim (571) narrated that Abu Sa'eed
al-Khudri said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, `If
one of you is uncertain about his prayer and
cannot remember how many rak'ahs he has prayed,
whether it was three or four, then let him avoid
doubt and act upon that of which he is certain,
then let him do two prostrations before he says
the salaam. Then if he prayed five rak'ahs then
they will make his prayer even, and if he prayed
four then that will annoy the Shaytaan."
These aayahs and ahaadeeth show just how keen
the Shaytaan is to lead the sons of Adam astray
and stop them from worshipping their Lord, by
means of the waswaas (whispers) which he
instills in their hearts. But the way to save
oneself from these devilish whispers is made
clear. For some people the matter may go so far
that they have doubts about every act of worship
they try to do, whether they have even done it
or not. The question here is not whether such a
person is to blame, rather the question is
whether a person will be rewarded for his
striving against the Shaytaan and his efforts to
resist these whispers, or not.
There is no clear statement from the scholars
on this matter, but it may be understood from
the words of the two Shaykhs, Ibn Taymiyyah and
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on them),
that he will be rewarded for that. This is what
is to be understood from the texts quoted above,
as we shall see below.
In the first hadeeth, the Sahaabah asked the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) about the waswaas that they felt in their
hearts, and he said, "That is clear faith."
Shaykh al-Islam (Majmoo' al-Fataawa,
7/282) said: "In other words, the fact that this
waswaas was happening and they disliked it so
much and pushed it away from their hearts is
clear faith, like the mujaahid to whom the enemy
comes and he resists him until he defeats him,
and this is the greatest form of jihad. Clear
(sareeh) means pure, like pure milk. It becomes
clear and pure because they hated those devilish
whispers and warded them off, so their faith
became pure and clear."
He also said (Majmoo' al-Fataawa,
14/108):
"This waswasah is something that enters the
heart not by a person's choice, and if a person
hates it and shuns it, this hatred of it is
clear faith."
He also said (Majmoo' al-Fataawa,
22/608):
"Many of the scholars said: hating that,
disliking it and shunning it is clear faith.
Praise be to Allaah that the most the Shaytaan
can do is whisper, for when the jinn-devil is
defeated, it whispers (waswasa) and when the
human devil is defeated he lies. Waswaas affects
everyone who tries to focus on Allaah in his
worship and dhikr etc. So one has to be
steadfast and patient and persist in dhikr or
prayer; he should not feel distressed because if
he persists, that will divert the plot of the
Shaytaan away from him, for the plot of the
Shaytaan is weak."
And he said in Dar' al-Ta'aarud,
3/318:
"This waswaas may be gotten rid of by seeking
refuge with Allaah and ignoring it, so that if
[the Shaytaan] says, `you did not wash your
face,' you should say, `Yes, I did wash my
face;' if he thinks that he did not form the
intention (for prayer) or say Allaahu akbar, he
should say in his heart, `Yes I did form the
intention and say Allaahu akbar.' He should
cling steadfastly to the truth and ward off the
waswaas that goes against it, so that the
Shaytaan will see how strong and steadfast he is
in adhering to the truth, and will leave him
alone. Otherwise when he [the Shaytaan] sees
that he is influenced by doubts and responsive
to waswaas, he will send him more waswaas until
he will be unable to resist and his heart will
become receptive to the seductive whispers of
the devils of the jinn and of mankind, and he
will move from one thing to another until the
Shaytaan drives him to his doom.
Based on the above, we may say that a
man will be rewarded for resisting this waswaas
and for striving against the Shaytaan for a
number of reasons:
1 _ The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) praised the feeling of
hatred towards the waswaas that had to do with
doubts concerning belief (`aqeedah), when he
said, "That is clear faith." One of things
implied by the hatred of this waswaas is that
one turns away from it and does not get carried
away with it.
2 _ Obeying the command of the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), "Let him
stop it."
3 _ The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said concerning the
prostration of forgetfulness (sajdat
al-sahw): "They will annoy the Shaytaan."
This implies encouragement to annoy and
humiliate the Shaytaan. Annoying him here means
turning away from this waswaas and not paying
any attention to it. This is in addition to the
fact that Allaah and His Messenger have taught
us to seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan,
etc.
4 _ The difficulties and distress that the
believer may suffer as a result of this waswaas
may be included in the hadeeth of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), "No
Muslim suffers tiredness, exhaustion, worry,
grief, annoyance or distress, not even a thorn
that pricks him, but Allaah will expiate some of
his sins thereby."
(al-Bukhaari, 2573; Muslim, 5642).
5 _ Shaykh al-Islam (Ibn Taymiyah _ may
Allaah have mercy on him) said: "like the
mujaahid to whom the enemy comes and he resists
him until he defeats him, and this is the
greatest form of jihad." The fact that he likens
him to a mujaahid and describes this as the
greatest form of jihad may be understood to mean
that he will be rewarded for that.
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bless our
Prophet Muhammad and all his family and
companions.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
20152: He likes a girl but
his father refuses to let him marry her
Question:
Recently I went to XXXX . My parents decided
to propose to someone else without asking me.
Both the girl and I disagreed. And I think that
was the end of that issue.While I was there, I
met a girl, who I really liked. I didn't talk to
this girl that I really liked. Because I
considered it wrong. And I let my elders know
about it. Everyone agreed. They were all happy.
When news got to my father, he expressed extreme
disapproval. Blamed me for having a love story.
He mentioned that this girl was not good for me
because of her family, Which by the way is our
family. Considering she's a distant cousin. But,
more specifically he meant her parents( who are
divorced). He said that this was something to
look down on. The girl had apparently recieved
other proposals that she had turned down. Who
were from people that either didn't have
degree's, were much older than her, or were
legally blind. And that was something for him to
look down on even more. Another reason he gave
me was that I didn't have a degree, which didn't
seem to be the problem when he was proposing to
some other girl without asking me. Recently, I
found out through my cousins, that the girl I
liked, Likes me as well. And she would like to
marry me. Her grandmother would also like us to
get married. I think it's hard for alot of
muslim guys in the U.S. to say they avoided
temptation while living here. Well, I managed to
avoid it. My parents know, that I haven't done
anything of this sort. At the time, I'm not
ready to get married. But, I'd like to get
engaged. Because I don't want to loose this
person. How should I convince my father, who I
consider a pious person. He prays, and is a good
muslim. But, the reasoning he gave me for not
getting married.. Is his reasoning. Which I feel
is morally and islamically wrong. My mother is
afraid to talk to him, because he has a temper.
And does not like to listen to people. Also, has
a heart situation. Please help?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh `Abd-Allaah ibn Humayd (may Allaah
have mercy on him) was asked about a man
marrying a woman whom he likes without his
family's approval. He said:
There is nothing wrong with that, if the
woman is steadfast in her religious commitment
and chastity, and if she is compatible with you
in terms of family background. There is nothing
to stop you marrying her, even though your
parents do not approve, if their objections and
dislike of her are unjust and unfounded. If you
want to marry her, and she is chaste,
religiously-committed, guards her honour and has
a good reputation and family background, then
there is nothing wrong with that. It is not
considered disobedience to one's parents if you
go against your parents' wishes and marry her,
so long as their objections are not justly based
and are rather based on whims and desires or
psychological reasons. But if their objections
towards her are just and well-founded, then you
should not go ahead and marry her. And Allaah
knows best. Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Humayd (may
Allaah have mercy on him), p. 217.
(www.islam-qa.com)
20162: She married her
boyfriend and is living a miserable life with
him
Question:
I left home at XXX and married my XXX yr old
college boyfriend ( I know it was wrong please
don't judge me) i now live with his family and
have a little 1 yr old girl. The problem is I
want to try and bring my daughter up as
religiously as possible I maybe destined for
hell but i do not wish to drag my daughter with
me. I feel that my husband is not giving me this
opportunity or his family. They care about my
daughter but constantly listen to music and
watch tv I hate this because my daughter is
begining to enjoy this sort of thing and do not
want my daughter exposed to this. The main
problem is I regret marrying my husband with all
my heart I feel that he regrets it too.We argue
All the time about his family and money. I can't
stand talking to him because he is always
miserable and does not know where he is going in
life or what he is to do. he can't hold a job
because he gets `bored' easily i work and so
does he but he still can't even provide for us
he spends all his money and can not answer for
it. I have to provide for me and my daughter and
on most occasions for him we earn the same
amount and yet I am able to save for the future
while he spends it like water.he behaves as if
he were a single person with no worries,The only
reason we are together is because of my
daughter. I wish i could leave because I am so
unhappy I am a wreck. i have lost all self
esteem. I went for sweet talk/excitment in a man
rather then religion and character and i realise
now that this is the most important thing in a
man because a man who follows religion correctly
and is of good character is a better husband.
I myself am a weak muslim i need someone to
guide me and although my husband went to
Madrasha he does not bother with religion and
right and wrong of religion. he wants me to
slave for him and his family and does not care
for what i want. I want to know what Islam says
about us being together. Does my happiness count
at all because I see a very bleak future with my
husband. but i know i can not cope without my
family who will probably disown me if I left my
husband. But they understand that i am going
through alot. we seperated for awhile and I
stayed with my family but he came back
apolagising this was a few months ago. I care
for my husband because once we were sort of
happy but we have lost each other we have lost
the love and friendship we once had. I don't
think we will get that back. We live together
but lead almost separate lives.
Please advise me as to what I can do for my
future and the future of my daughter. I do not
want to deprive her of her father but my
marriage is a unhappy one believe me.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The story you tell in your question in and of
itself offers a serious lesson to every girl who
follows her whims and desires, fails to obey
Allaah and leaves her family and her home in
order to commit sin in an atmosphere of fitnah.
Your question also offers a lesson to every
sinner, to look at the consequences to which
their sin may lead them. We ask Allaah to
forgive us, you and every Muslim man and woman.
With regard to the marriage contract between
you and him, if it was not done in the presence
of your guardian and with his approval _ which
is what seems to be the case _ then it is not
valid, and it is haraam for you to stay with him
in this case or to let him be intimate with you,
because he is not your husband. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said, "There is no marriage (nikaah) without a
guardian (wali)." And he (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "Any woman who gets
married without the permission of her guardian,
her marriage is invalid, her marriage is
invalid, her marriage is invalid."
I advise you to do a number of things:
1 _ You must ask him to put this matter
right, by making a new marriage contract with
you, with a mahr (dowry) and the presence of
your guardian and two witnesses. From what you
say it seems that your family now approve of
your marriage to him. So there is nothing to
prevent you putting this haraam situation right.
If that is not done then he is not your husband,
and it is haraam for you to stay with him.
2 _ I advise you to be patient and to seek
reward with Allaah for the difficulties and
stress that you are facing. For these
difficulties will be an expiation for your
previous sins. The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "No worry or grief
befalls a believer, not even a thorn that pricks
him, but Allaah will expiate thereby some of his
sins." Your patience will end in a way out, in
sha Allah. As the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "The way out comes
with patience."
3 _ Note that unpleasant things only happen
to people because of their sins. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And whatever of misfortune befalls you,
it is because of what your hands have earned.
And He pardons much"
[al-Shoora 42:30]
The difficulties and unhappiness that you are
going through may be a punishment from Allaah
for your disobeying your family and committing
this haraam action. But your regret and putting
this matter right, in sha Allaah, will be your
repentance, for the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Regret is
repentance." I hope that Allaah will take away
from you, as a result of this repentance, the
worry and distress that you are feeling.
4 _ Make a lot of du'aa' and feel that you
are in need of Allaah and have no one else to
turn to. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"Is not He (better than your gods) Who
responds to the distressed one, when he calls on
Him, and Who removes the evil…?"[al-Naml 27:62]
"And your Lord said: "Invoke Me [i.e. believe
in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism) and ask Me
for anything] I will respond to your
(invocation)"[Ghaafir 40:60]
If a person is helped (by Allaah) to make
du'aa', then his prayer will be answered. Make
the most of the times and places where du'aa' is
answered, such as when prostrating, before
saying the tasleem at the end of the prayer, in
the last third of the night, and on Fridays,
especially after `Asr prayer.
5 _ You have to advise your husband and
cooperate with him in obeying Allaah. Take him
by the hand and start a new life in which your
aim is to please Allaah. May Allaah help you
both to do that which He loves and which pleases
Him. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
20187: Her brother is in
love with a divorced woman with whom he had a
previous relationship
Question:
My brother in XXX is in love with a girl, she
is divorced with two kids(boy and a girl more
then 4yrs), the love was between the two before
the marriage but after the marriage made a wall
in their love, after divorce they are more in
love and plan to marry, not caring about the
parents, the girl told my brother that, does he
still believe in Allah?, as he had put him
through so many test in life many And like 6
months ago my brother was saying he wont marry
anyone except the girl he loves. First he wanted
to get he acceptance of my mother and so. But
suddenly a change came and now he doesnt care at
all he is changed, his attitiude is quiet rude.
My mother still is good with my brother but his
attitude is bad. He is bad with my father. And I
think there is a chance that the girl might have
done some Amal(magic) on my family and my
brother.
So is there a way we can know about wether
there is some black magic done on my brother or
not. As my father doesnt believe in Magic its
hard for my father to find out a Aalim or a
Mufti and get the issue solved. Also please make
duaa for his good. He is not keeping in touch
with me , the girl he loves is not liked by our
whole family,and my brother before used to say
that its not right to marry a girl without
parents acceptance.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
I advise your father and the father of this
woman not to prevent this marriage, so long as
there is no shar'i reason to prevent it. If your
brother loves this woman and she loves him, then
it is in their interests to get married. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "There is nothing better for two
people who are in love than marriage," i.e., if
a man loves a woman and she loves him, then let
them get married, and that will calm them down
and protect them from doing anything haraam.
Isn't their getting married better for him, for
her and for their families than their falling
into something that Allaah has forbidden? The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said, addressing the guardians of women, if
a man comes to propose marriage: "If there comes
to you one with whose religious commitment and
character you are pleased, then marry (your
daughter) to him; if you do not do that then
there will be fitnah (tribulation) and
widespread corruption on earth."
But if there is a shar'i reason to prevent
that, then our advice to your brother is to obey
his father and to remain chaste, and to strive
hard in doing so. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever
strives to be chaste, Allaah will help him to be
chaste," i.e., whoever does his utmost to be
chaste, Allaah will grant him chastity and help
him. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"As for those who strive hard in Us (Our
Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths
(i.e. Allaah's religion — Islamic Monotheism)"
[al-`Ankaboot 29:69]
And he should look for another wife who will
help him with his religious commitment and his
worldly interests.
With regard to witchcraft, if a person
regularly reads Qur'aan and recites the adhkaar
that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) used to recite when going to sleep,
when waking up, in the morning and the evening
and at other times and in other circumstances,
then he will protect himself thereby from the
accursed Shaytaan. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah
enjoined five things upon Yahya ibn Zakariyya,
which he was to follow and to enjoin upon the
Children of Israel…" then he mentioned them,
among which was: "and He commands you to
remember Him. The likeness of that is of a man
who is being pursued by his enemy, until he
comes to a strong fortress where he protects
himself from them. Similarly a person cannot
protect himself against the Shaytaan with
anything better than the remembrance of Allaah
(dhikr)."
Al-Mi'wadhaat (soorahs seeking protection
with Allaah) are among the greatest things by
means of which a person may protect himself
against witchcraft, so recite them in the
morning and in the evening, after every prayer
and before going to sleep.
Make a lot of du'aa' for your brother, that
Allaah may guide him and grant him wisdom. And
Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih
Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
22164: Advice on the matter
of spinsterhood
Question:
I am disturbed by the number of women in this
society who do not have husbands and I wonder
what is the solution?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The phenomenon of widespread spinsterhood
(women remaining without husbands) is caused by
a number of things, including the following:
1 _ Demanding too high a mahr, and the
inability of young men to bear the expenses of
marriage.
2 _ Girls refusing to marry early on the
grounds that they want to complete their
education.
3 _ Girls refusing to get married to a man
who already has a wife.
4 _ Difficult conditions imposed by the
wife's family or the husband's.
The ways to solve this problem are as
follows:
1 _ The girl's family should look for a
suitable man who can make their daughter happy,
and not seek to make excessive demands with
regard to the mahr. Rather they should look for
a man who is religiously committed and has a
good character, who will be able to protect
their daughter's religious commitment and
chastity, and make her happy.
2 _ Girls should not refuse to get married on
the excuse that they want to continue their
education, so that they grow old and reach an
age where they can find no one to marry them. It
is possible to come to an agreement with their
husbands that they will continue their education
after they get married. That is easy to do,
praise be to Allaah.
3 _ A girl should not regard a man who
proposes marriage to her when he already has a
wife as unsuitable for her or unable to make her
happy. Many girls refuse to accept a man who is
already married, then time passes and they get
too old and cannot find anyone to marry them.
But Islam and the Sunnah of the Prophet permit a
Muslim man to marry up to four women, on the
condition that the man treat all his wives
fairly.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
21171: How should she answer
the questions of her second husband's children?
Question:
I am a divorced woman and I have received a
proposal of marriage from a man who is divorced
and has three children. After thinking long and
hard I have decided to get married to him. But
my question is, what should I say to his
children if they ask me, "Why did you get
married to our father?" or "Why did my father
divorce my mother?" There are a lot of questions
which they will ask me. What should I do? I hope
that you will do me the honour of answering.
Thank you very much.?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Children ask a lot of questions and it is
very important that parents try not to ignore
their questions. They should make use of these
questions as a means of teaching them and
developing their thinking and their potentials.
The answers should also be convincing,
because the children's young age makes them
convinced by any answer that they are given. You
could explain to them in simple terms the basics
of marriage and divorce.
If there are previous differences between you
of which the children are aware, then you should
speak of them in brief and simple terms.
You could also explain that by saying that
you were not able to agree on some matters
regarding living or the house, or that your ways
of looking at things are different.
It is important that you do not accuse their
father or make him responsible, even if in fact
he is responsible in your view, because this
will affect the way they look at their father
and make them hate him and keep away from him.
Try as much as possible not to show your
negative feelings towards your former husband,
because that will not help you, rather it will
affect your children. It is very important for
them to develop socially in a sound manner, and
to have a positive view of their father.
Shaykh Muhammad al-Duwaysh.
(www.islam-qa.com)
11449: He is suffering from
overpowering waswaas (insinuating whispers from
the Shaytaan)
Question:
For some months i have been having a problem
with waswas in both my prayers and when
performing wudu.I keep forgetting what i have
washed in my wudu and keep forgetting how much i
have prayed.It has reached a point where i am
making sajdah as - sahu for every single prayer
because my mind keeps going blank.The more i
concentrate on my prayer the more it
occurs.Sometimes i think i must have read 6 or 7
rakats for a four rakat prayer because i simply
cannot recal how much i have prayed and so i
continue until i am certain.The more i do this
the worse the problem gets. I want to ignore the
waswas but i am not sure if this is sanctioned
by the shariah.I feel it is the only way to rid
myself of this disease.I read surah Baqarah and
many dua related to the whisperings of shaytan
and surahs falaq and naas.With regards to wudu i
have a combination of problems as i feel tha i
have not washed properly after using the
bathroom or if my clothes get wet that there is
something impure on my clothes.When making wudu
i feel like i have not washed properly. I try to
ignore these whisperings but i am terrified that
if i ignore it and i am wrong, that my prayers
will not be answered. I have reached a point
where my prayers can take upto an hour or more
to perfom and have become merely a ritual
without any khushoo because of these problems. I
finish one prayer and start fearing how i am
going to manage to get through the next one. I
feel i am trapped because there is no way i can
miss a prayer as I know this is exactly what
shaytan wants me to do. Please help me , may
Allah reward you.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Our advice to you first of all is that you
have to consult a psychologist; try to find a
Muslim doctor so that he will understand your
problem. Secondly, you have to take the easier
option always, and do not think about the sin or
punishment. If you do not follow this advice,
your problem will continue. In a prayer when you
are not sure whether you have prayed three or
four rak'ahs, you have to assume that it is
four, and the part of the body which you are
unsure whether you have washed it, you have to
assume that you have washed it. This applies to
every situation you face: take the easier
option. If you do that you will have defeated
the Shaytaan who has subjected you to this
involuntary waswaas. May Allaah heal you and
grant you good health.
Shaykh Sa'd al-Humayd (www.islam-qa.com)
21269: She left home fleeing
her husband's beatings
Question:
What is the Islamic ruling in your view on a
woman who reaches the age of sixty five, and
from the time she married her husband at age 14
she has been suffering from her husband's bad
treatment, his beatings, his humiliating her in
front of her children and in front of others,
and always throwing her out of the house, yet
despite that she has been patient and seeking
reward from Allaah, responding to all his
never-ending demands even though she suffers
from heart disease and blood pressure, and the
doctors have advised complete rest for her and
that she should not exert herself? Recently this
husband's bad treatment of this woman has become
even worse; he humiliated her in front of her
guests, beat her and threw her out of the house,
so she had no choice but to leave the house to
him and go and stay with her children, knowing
that he would not give her enough money. What is
your view on this case? Now she does not want to
go back to him and he does not want her and he
does not acknowledge that he has wronged her… Is
she guilty of anything if she does not go back
to him if he asks her to? What is your advice to
them? May Allaah reward you with good.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is haraam for the wife to ask for a
divorce for no reason, and it is haraam for her
to go out of the house for no reason without her
husband's permission. But if she is being harmed
as a result of staying in her husband's house or
staying married to him, then she has the right
to ask him for a divorce. She has the right to
leave the house and go to her family so that she
can escape from her husband's abuse and
beatings. The husband has to fear Allaah with
regard to what Allaah has put him in charge of.
The Prophet urged good treatment of women, and
Allaah commanded His Messenger SAWS (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) to treat people
on a reasonable basis. Whatever the case, if the
husband's abuse is ongoing then she has the
right to ask for the marriage to be annulled,
and he has to respond to that request, or he has
to repent to Allaah, and stop harming her.
Shaykh `Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
(www.islam-qa.com)
12665: A criminal tried to
rape his wife's daughter
Question:
A worried sister asks what should be done as
her mother's husband tried to rape her. He tried
molesting her but was unable to succeed in
having intercourse with her. Does this have any
effect on the marriage contract between the man
and her mother? Should she tell her sisters and
her mother (even though the mother is unlikely
to believe her)?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
This girl has to tell her mother and her
brothers so that they can put a stop to this
crime before it happens. The girl must not sit
with him in the place where he is sitting,
rather she must keep away from him even if he is
her mahram. The mahram _ even if he is a father
or brother _ if there is no guarantee that he
can be trusted (Allaah forbid), then it is not
permissible to be near him, rather the guardian
should prevent that from happening. If that can
only be achieved by punishing or imprisoning
him, then so be it. Whatever the case, this girl
has to take every precaution to prevent this
evil from happening.
Shaykh `Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
(www.islam-qa.com)
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Introduction